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June 2012

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Jon -- hee!

We live in hard times, NOT end times (Or: In which I want Jon Stewart's babies even more than usual)

I got to attend the Rally to Restore Sanity And/Or Keep Fear Alive today in DC, along with yelena_r0ssini. It was...a huge day.

The buses left from Cherry Hill at 6:20 a.m, which is just ungodly. Now, I don't know if our bus driver, Alan, was stoned or just insane, but he had us all in hysterics every time he opened his mouth. He kept coming on the PA to tell us things like "I used to take the Amish down to DC...I would show them the White House and tell them 'That's the house where George Bush used to live.' And they'd be talking in Dutch, and I don't speak Dutch, so...yeah." And "Ok, so I'm going to drop you guys off here, because if you take the escalator downstairs there's like, a hundred restaurants. [Pause.] Ok, maybe not a hundred, but like...there are a lot."

After his initial, rambling, incoherent introduction, the guy behind me deadpanned "Drive safe, Alan."

Somehow we made it to DC alive. Got food (if you can call it that) and coffee and followed the masses to the Mall. And, after milling around for about an hour like trapped cows, realized that there was just no goddamn way we were going to be able to see the performance. We would have needed to stake out spots about 5 hours earlier. We were so far back that we couldn't even see the Jumbotron. But honestly, it might be just as well because when I did catch a glimpse of Jon Stewart I nearly peed myself with excitement.

Jon and Stephen worked beautifully together. Hilarious banter. Stephen wrote a poem about fear (read by Sam Waterson!). They sang. Or rather, Stephen sang and Jon...tried. Valiantly. Was largely bored by the musical guests (except Cat Stevens), but oh well.

And at the end, Jon gave a genuinely inspiring speech. So there was that <3

Choice quotes:

Jon: "These are reasonable people!"
Stephen: "They're reasonable for now, Jon. But soon they'll be a mindless panicked mob, once I release the bees!"
Jon: "What bees, there are no-"
Stephen: "RELEASE THE BEES!! Run for your lives! Hide your children! Hide UNDER your children! [...] Ladies and gentlemen, if you have a bee allergy, run for your lives."
Jon: "There's nothing to be afraid of. It's fall, there's no bees."
Stephen: "...Ok not a bee allergy, but what if they have a peanut allergy, Jon?"
Jon: "What difference would that make?"
Stephen: "Because I have smothered my bees in peanut butter."

Jon: "As a matter of fact, let's leave this place BETTER than when we found it. [...] When the Mall empties out and the crowds leave, I would like to see some topiaries that were not there before."

Julia: "Actually, I don't think you can sneak a piece of pizza onto the bus."
Me: "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED."

Eddie Izzard was there, but we did not see him. It is one of the great tragedies of my young life.

Hit awful traffic coming home - in the end, it took us about 5 hours to get from DC to Cherry Hill. Not good. Am so tired now, but I need to pack up my stuff :/

Leaving Philly in 6 hours to go back to Oberlin. Getting a ride with a total stranger. This will be stressful.

Comments

First off: w00t Cherry Hill!
Uber jealous you were able to make it... but even if I could go and didn't have three prior commitments that day, I don't think I could have done the crowds *nervous gulp*. Gosh, to see Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert live... ugh. Must have made the whole trip worth it.
Eddie Izzard was there, but we did not see him. It is one of the great tragedies of my young life.
At first I got squeely, then I read the bit after the comma. :( Truly tragic.
So what was the crowd like? Generally chill? Or were there some a**holes that tried to make more of a commotion?