Fun with Vicodin!
All the teeth were pretty badly impacted so the recovery is hella painful so far. I spent like an hour hyperventilating/crying on the couch while I bled everywhere. Kind of freaked my cat out. Managed to sleep for most of the day and have been taking Vicodin, so it's just sort of a dull ache now and the bleeding's mostly stopped. Still, this is not my idea of a good time.
Expectations are important.
When I moved back to Oberlin last February, although I was eager to return, I was also terrified - and, honestly, part of me expected to fail again. I had myself half-convinced that I wasn't cut out for Oberlin, or possibly even college in general. But I managed to fall into a wonderful life with very little actual effort on my part. My social life was built-in and I didn't have to work for it. So I was pleasantly surprised and thrilled. When I came back in the fall, I expected everything to be the same - same social dynamics, same friendships, etc. I thought it would be easy again. (I also expected mutual honesty in my relationship. Oops!) But things were different, and I couldn't adjust to that, so it wound up being...not the greatest semester, overall. Awesome things happened in it! - but I kind of got both the highest highs and the lowest lows out of it.
Intentions for Winter Term/next semester: be prepared for change. Get out more, and hang out with people who don't necessarily live 20 feet away. Go to dances. Spend a lot of time at Slow Train, for it is the best place. Study in groups with motivated and focused people. Hang out with Jessie! Go to the gym and yoga classes. Focus on spending time with the people I know are good and kind and real friends (without necessarily cutting ties with other people; no sense creating dramarama). LEARN TO SAY NO. Develop self-respect. Maybe don't become engaged in serious relationships until I'm slightly less insane. Bake. Cook. Go to the Ginkgo Gallery and cuddle kittens. Learn things. And, most importantly, get me some bitches.
A mix for fall semester 2010:
1. Queen :: Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy
Hey boy where did you get it from? Hey boy where did you go?
I learned my passion in the good old fashioned school of lover boys
2. The Decemberists :: Raincoat Song
Caroline, you're angry 'cause you sleep like a spinster and you're twenty-eight
You've been thinking late you couldn't catch a cold
3. Mika :: One Foot Boy
My oh my! I think my mind is gone
I'm left here wondering was I crazy all along?
What do I do?
4. Florence and the Machine :: Girl With One Eye
I slipped my hand under her skirt
I said don't worry, it's not gonna hurt
Oh, my reputation's kinda clouded with dirt - that's why you sleep with one eye open
That's the price you paid
5. Battlestar Galactica soundtrack :: A Promise to Return
6. tick, tick...BOOM! :: See Her Smile
Cynical town can be tough on an angel
Clip her wings, baby one two three
7. Oingo Boingo :: Private Life
This is my private bed, this is where I lie at night
Staring at a light bulb hanging on the ceiling
Waiting for a dream to come and get me out of here
8. The Smiths :: Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want
So for once in my life, let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time
9. Gaslight Anthem :: Red At Night
And the morning bells rang, alright, alright
Shoulda stayed home with you that night
Ain't nobody played the fool like I
Ain't nobody played the fool like I
10. Tegan and Sara :: Call It Off
Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know
11. Amanda Palmer :: Leeds United
But who needs love when there's Law & Order?
And who needs love when there's Southern Comfort?
And who needs love at all?
12. They Might Be Giants :: Don't Let's Start
D world destruction
Over and overture
N do I need apostrophe
T need this torture?
13. Jenny Owen Youngs :: Fuck Was I
Skillet on the stove it's such a temptation
Maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesn't get hurt
What the fuck was I thinking?
14. Kate Nash :: Early Christmas Present
And you lied to me right to my face
And your best friend's ex-girlfriend's younger sister's mate knew before I did
Before I did
Before I did
Doesn't help anyone doesn't do any good
That you'd do something else if you only could
15. Scissor Sisters :: Kiss You Off
Kiss you off my lips
It's standing room only for a piece of my pigment
So excuse me a minute while I supply demand
16. Cake :: Sad Songs and Waltzes
Though my record may say it, no one will play it
Sad songs and waltzes aren't selling this year
17. Imogen Heap :: Hide and Seek
Mmm, whatcha say? That you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmm, whatcha say? That it's all for the best?
Because it is
18. The New Pornographers :: Adventures in Solitude
Less than forget but more than begun
These adventures in solitude never done
To the names of our wounds
We send the same blood back from the wars
19. The Mountain Goats :: Alpha Rats Nest
The night is lovely as a rose
If I see sunlight hit you I am sure that we'll both decompose
20. The Wrens :: Hopeless
Hopeless that this will turn out better
This isn't what I wanted, I should've listened to them
Go thank yourself for nothing - it's really all you're good for
21. Stars :: Your Ex-Lover Is Dead
It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose